Knowing how to deal with difficult people is an essential skill if you want to be happy. Some people will tell you that it’s you. YOU are the one with the problem and you just need to get over it no matter how difficult someone else is. Now, I’m the first to say that What we Focus on is How we Feel however no amount of positive thinking about someone will change their wrong behavior.
If you have ever felt burdened by someone telling you that it’s your thinking about the situation, not the situation itself, then I have very good news for you!
Guess what? Boundaries keep us safe! Have you ever been swimming in a lake or the ocean and see the boundary signs posted? Signs like Rip Current or Undertow. Or maybe you have been hiking near a cliff with a fence. The signs and the fence are telling you what the boundaries for safety are. Someone assessed the area and the situation and set an appropriate boundary.
Setting boundaries with people works the same way and it is very healthy. Jim Rohn teaches that we all have people in our lives that we need to either eliminate, limit or encourage. If you are trying to keep the peace with toxic, mean, cranky, or abusive people too often you will be exhausted. It has a definite negative effect on you. Here’s the good news, you don’t have to allow that in your life! Assess the situation and set your appropriate boundaries.
We become like the 5 people we spend the most time with so
Now, here is even better news…You get to protect yourself! You get to choose who you spend time with. Think about the people you know and associate with. Do they build you up? Are they helping you be a better person? Do they have the same goals and aspirations as you? Do they encourage you to live your dreams? Are they happy when you succeed?
Please don’t ever feel that you have to be with someone who disrespects you, makes you feel small, or who treats you inappropriately in any way. Please don’t think that their behavior is your problem because it is NOT. It’s there’s let them own it
At the end of the day not setting boundaries sets you up to be a victim and you deserve so much more. There are healthy, happy, building relationships out there waiting for you. You just need to make sure you have room for them be keeping the not so good relationships out.
Allow yourself to set boundaries. Start setting them today. You are a wonderful person who deserves respect and love.
Do you have any tips that have worked for you when setting boundaries? Tell me about it in the comments!
P.S. If you enjoyed this article you’ll also love How to be Happy: What we Focus on is How we Feel.